You know what, the world isn't angry, the people are angry. There is so much anger in the world it's sometimes overwhelming. But it's not new, people all over the world have been angry for as long as we know.
Anger is an emotion that gets a reaction. We all feel it, every single one of us. We all see anger around us, every single day in some shape or form. And most of us have no clue what to do about it. Interestingly enough, anger in one usually inspires anger in the people around them, it's just that sort of emotion.
We express anger when we don't get our way, when we feel trapped and not in control. We express anger when our thoughts and ideas are not validated and we are treated differently and less than we feel we deserve. We express anger when we feel wronged, betrayed, hurt, and insulted. And we express our feeling through anger because we don't know how else to do it, and became it forces people "hear" us.
There is nothing fundamentally wrong with anger, it's just another emotion that all people feel and express. What's wrong is when anger is expressed in a manner that hurts others for the sake of our own emotional self-preservation.
When we lash out at another person, or groups of people because we feel we've been wronged in some way, and we want those around us to feel the same way we do.
When we selfishly force our own emotions on others because we don't have the capacity to deal with our own issues in a healthy and productive manner, we make things worse. Always.
This can be said for ALL emotions, even the "good" ones. If you try to force someone going through a rough time to be happy, you'll probably create conflict. Things associated with positivity are not always good. People need to feel what they are going through, and being forced to feel something else, even if it's happiness, or joy, might not be a very good thing for them at the time.
So we all have a choice. Knowing that we all feel anger, we have a choice to learn to express it in a way that doesn't hurt or bring others down. And knowing that others feel anger, we have a choice to react to theirs either by matching and ultimately adding to their anger, shoving an opposing emotion down their throat, or by helping and supporting them.
What you choose to put into the world, and into others, is 100% on you. No other person has that sort of control over you, no matter what you think. If someone is screaming in your face, you actually do not have to scream back. You really don't.
And how do we control our own anger? Learn to express it in a less harmful manner.
If you're pissed off because work is stressing you out, don't take it out on your friends and loved ones, they are your support.
If things are falling down around you and it seems like you have no control, take the time to understand what you can control and accept what you can't.
If a small group of people decide to lash out and act out of anger, don't close your doors on ALL people because of the actions of a few.
Adding anger to somebody already angry NEVER helps or works. Never.
You have a choice. Help yourself and the people around you to understand and grow from an angry situation, or add to the anger and fuel the fire of conflict.
What kind of person will you be?
Never Stop, GET FIT.
__ Let's step away from overused metaphors like glasses being half full and such and break it down as straight forward as possible. How do you see the world? Some people know instantaneously that they are positive or negative people and to those people, well, you got something pretty big figured out. To be honest, I can respect a bit those people who admit to being really negative; at least they are honest with themselves and with everyone around them as to who they are. It allows for people like me, and others who don't much care for over-negativity to not hang out with them on a regular basis. The other type of person is one that doesn't really know where they stand. Perhaps they are both? Perhaps they think they are positive in general, but are really pretty negative. This is a tough one because how is someone supposed to be honest about who they are if they have no clue they are lying to themselves, or, they just don't care?
Here's a go-to test. Take one day and decide to make note of the first thing that comes out of your mouth. Interestingly, what will inevitably happen is you'll either not say very much (and still, the things you say, pay close attention to them), but what you CAN do now is really see what it is you wanted to say. When you get cut off, do you want to say something to express your frustration? Did you actually say something? Or did you just pay no attention? Or did you notice something really cool the person cutting you off was wearing? The fact is people, while it is a choice to act on your negativity and/or aggression, for some people it is much more deeply rooted than simply being able to just stop. If your natural inclination is to think negative thoughts most of your day, there is something deeply struggling inside of you. Its funny, I know by writing this I am going to get a lot of blood boiling in negative people. But that right there is perfectly proving my point. If my post here annoys you, pisses you off, gets you all defensive and you find yourself making excuses, or throwing stuff back at me, either in your mind or maybe in email, or to my face, well, simply put, you're a negative person!
If it IS your natural inclination to exude negativity, I can only offer my advice on some things I have found work for me. I am obviously not a therapist or anything like that. So, that being said, take my thoughts as merely experiential and based on my young years of learning from people, myself and over-analyzing pretty much everything. Here's one my Mom used to tell me when I was a kid. I always found it cheesy, but when I tried it, it worked absolute wonders for me. I still use this method to this day when I feel negativity taking over in my head, and it still works so well. When something happens (let's use the getting cut off scenario again) and you feel those negative thoughts and angry feeling bubbling up. Take a second and try to find something unique, or cool, or interesting about the person. Perhaps they have a cool hat, or a shirt that you relate to, or a sweet pair of shoes on, or an interesting hair cut? Tell yourself this. And for added effect, say it aloud to yourself so you can hear your own voice. If you really want to feel the full effects, tell the person who cut you off the positive thing you found about them and watch what happens. A positive thought usually leads to other positive thoughts. You see someone with cool shoes and you begin to think about your own shoes. Then you remember an awesome pair of shoes you had as a kid and the time you and your mother or father went shopping for them and had such a fun experience. And just like that, the tiny little “being cut off” thing vanished into a wonderful daydream of a happy childhood memory.
Maybe you can take that little shift in thinking, and ponder about how stressful wasting your time on feeling negative towards everything really is. How, if you are always putting other things down, it’ll be pretty damn hard to look at yourself, and the things you want to love in a positive light. Negativity begets negativity people, and it is powerful enough to strongly affect the people you surround yourself with.
Oh, and one last thought for todays post: when was the last time you smiled for no apparent reason, someplace in public?
Never Stop, GET FIT.
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