A couple days ago I had the exciting experience of watching the third Batman move (The Dark Knight Rises) for a third time. Yes, I love Batman. Yes, I argue that Bane is the most intimidating, bad ass character ever created in film. There's one scene when Batman and Bane are beating up on each other and Bane seems to be having fun. One of his lines is this:
"You merely adopted the dark; I was born in it!"
He is clearly a pretty messed up dude deep down, but he has openly accepted his roll in the world and his comfort in what he does and who he is shines through making him that much more powerful. So, why do I bring this up? Do I think we should all be like Bane? Hell no, the whole world would burn to ashes within a week! I bring it up because I think that so much of Bane's power stems from a deeper understanding of how his word works. He truly knows what pain, despair, sorrow, and darkness look and feel like. Unfortunately he decided to embrace the negativity and use it for pure evil (or "necessary evil" as he calls it). I propose something different.
You've heard of the idea of "facing your fears" and I think most people understand that; but how many of you actually DO that? From my experience I find that most people tend to just ignore all the things that cause them fear and/or anger. I know there is a ton more depth into this, and there a re literally thousands of pages of research done on this topic, but I will do my best to keep things simple as to get my point across. Ignoring your negative issues does not actually take care of them. And negativity effects how you function both mentally and physically in a pretty dramatic way. So, the truth of it all is that you CAN'T ignore it all. If you have deep anger, pain, fear, darkness, whatever, it is part of you just as much as having leg pain after running a marathon. Sure you could ignore it, but it won;t make it go away; and it wont make the toll it all takes on your body and mind go away.
Ok, Courage, I'll just find a good way to release it! Well, that's a step in the right direction, especially if you use physical activity or something like that to move "flush it out". But unfortunately, having a simple release of all this stuff is actually just a glorified way to ignore it all. Let me use an analogy here:
You have a bully and his/her friends picking on a roup of your friends, beating up on them, and stealing from them. Obviously, you want this to stop. You know they are doing this to way more than just your friends, so you weigh your options: face them head on in an epic battle. Tell on them to the proper authorities and hope it gets taken care of. Just avoid the hell out them as best you can. Or, attempt to communicate with them in some way.
I know that communication is probably the least accepted appraoch to this situation, but, if you were actuially able to get any of them one on one and engage them in a conversation about theoir lives, you would very quickly understand just WHY they are acting they way they do. This might not stop them, sure; but what it will do is allow you to make a much more educated and effective decision on how to actually respond. Perhaps talking to someone is all they really wanted. Or perhaps knowing you a little better causes them to not feel like beating up on your friends. Perhaps you find they can;t be reasoned with and fighting back is your only option, but at least you know more about them and how to approach the fight. Or perhaps you figure out the best way to avoid them because you learn where they hang out. When all was said and done though, what you found out was a deeper understanding of wehre the negativity on your life was coming from. Now, whatver you choose to do will have a greater possibility of effectivle ridding that megativity from your life for good!
Understand the darkness, and you can kick it's ass! If you don't understand it, you are going into the fight completely blind and will only succeed if you are very, very lucky.
It's not just about facing your fears and negativities, it's about understanding them, knowing where they come from, and knowing why you have them. Feel them, you need to truly know what they are doing to you before you are genuinely able to move past them. And if you do that, you not only get to a better place, but you give yourself the tools to be able to deal with the same sort of thing later on in your life (and shit will alwsys happen at some point, unfortunately). And if you are the type of person that like to help and support others, you'll have the tools and understanding to better help and support those others.
So there's my philosophising for the day. Hope you enjoyed, hope it helped! Later this week I will be getting a post up about the changes happening to this blog starting in mid-October. Super stoked!
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